I’ve been gone lately (no sh*t)

woman standing in the middle of a forest

Photo by Leonardo Gonzalez on Pexels.com

It’s hard to explain how I can be here and not be here. For months I have been sitting on my brown recliner, playing digital games, watching youtube, and cuddling with the little black dog, Foxy.

Even after a full night of sleep, my brain feels like I have a three day hangover. I take a nap and drag from bed to chair, turn on the TV, and then I stare sluggishly at the box until my brain decides to go into first gear.

I may have a few moments of the day when I have enough energy to to take the dog for a walk. The last month I walked to the front of the building and then sat on a lounge chair watching the birds and clouds. Maybe I’ll talk to one or two of the residents.

You may wonder why I didn’t think this was unusual. It’s because this last year I’ve been living and walking through a fog where my brain and body didn’t seem to want to move. Once I am in this downward spiral, I don’t even notice. I just drift away.

Yes, there is something physically wrong with me and it is not age. I received a call from my nephrologist’s office about two weeks ago. My kidney function had dropped from 13 percent to 10 percent in less than two weeks. She wanted me to get a PD catheter and start dialysis as soon as possible.

Feeling like I was walking through early spring mud, I managed to get my labs and surgery pre-ops orders done. After the surgery, I dealt with the pain and painkillers. Then I had my first flush last week.

The change was immediate. I was talking faster. I was interested in things other than the idiot box. Food tasted better. I could think.

I don’t know what the next phase of my life is going to be. I hope that I can sit down and write again. I hope That my brain will have enough connections and be filtered enough that I can do more than write a sentence or two.

We’ll see.

4 thoughts on “I’ve been gone lately (no sh*t)

  1. I so hope this continues for you. I’ve missed your Postings. Hugs to you and Foxy. Prayers coninuing. Don’t feel too bad as it is old age that is catching up to me. My tenth novel will be released May 15th and it will probably be my last. The story well seems to have run dry. No, it isn’t writer’s block as I’m back at writing my memoirs. Eighty plus years entitles me to do that.

Comments are closed.